The Rules are there are no rules....

Beaking is about overemphasizing the obvious... showing no weakness... taking the offensive... never playing defense... taking advantage of any chinks in the armor ... and stepping way over the line when the need calls for it...
And let's get one thing straight right from the start. I'm not a great beaker. I'm not an average beaker. I'm below mediocre at best. But I can and will laugh along with the best of them...
Look at that nose... Did you swallow a canoe? .. Why don't you go rent yourself out as an anteater... Is your gf/wife mad about the patch of carpet you took out to make that suit?... Nice fro buddy, did you stick your finger into a light socket?... I think you're old enough now to stop having your mother dress you... You've got the skinniest chicken legs I've ever seen... C'mon, let the kids play (To a veteran)... Look at T Rex/alligator arms over here (if they're cheap and can't reach their wallet)... Your beard is really gonna come in nice in 4 to 5 years (if they're young and trying to grow a playoff beard)... Did Santa give you some time off from the mall this year? (if their short)... You should play baseball for all the no-hitters you throw (if they don't hit)... You couldn't put a beach ball into the ocean... (or just as good) you're all Swedish no Finish (If they can't score)... You throw muffins/pillows (if they have a weak punch)... You're such a seat-bealt (If they hold on for dear life in a fight, don't throw any punches, and just tie the other guy up)... Mix in a save every now and then (to a goalie)... You never told me your parents were coming to the game (Looking at the crazy superfans who obviously takes the game a way too seriously)... You've changed (The biggest screw with their head non-beak)... Shake it off (Even after a good practice or game; The second biggest screw with their head non-beak)...