Loading Up

The same way top NHL teams make trades to help them go deep in the playoffs - A2 teams are making moves. And here... when you're only allowed 4 imports, a really good Italian... or 2... puts your team is in a dominant position. A few teams have started, and it's only a matter of time till some others... or all the rest... follow suit.

Christmas

What a whirlwind of a season...
... a game every second day and a family darting in and out on their way to Rome, to Florence, to Venice... It was the best we've ever done to keep our promise of 'no presents' and the tree was still as full as ever... and the smallest one... a present a little delayed... was the best present of all... The days worked out to regular beat of coffee and gluwine... the nights to some form of cards and books... the only unfortunate thing might have been our card luck, that enabled two incredibly inferior opponents a few meagre morsels of victory... You don't want to say too much about it... but 4 hands in a row if both players are 1 or 2 cards away from a mis-deal... well... a monkey on a typewriter could win it... just saying...
... and now back to as close as a reality as I get in Italy... I would have to say the best times I had were on the patio of the cafe covered in blankets with drink in hand...

Christmas Groceries

Danelle wasn't kidding... I should have made two trips for Christmas groceries... But what girls fail to understand... it's exactly these kinds of challenges that get stupid egotistical boys into exactly these kinds of situations... ... ... now I'm sitting in line with my cart piled high above the sides... a European-sized loading area... and an even smaller European-sized bagging area... berated by grumbling little old ladies and eyed by serious looking old man...

... And here I am... stuck between unloading the cart at one end... and bagging the groceries at the other... unload some more... bag some more... all while getting my wallet out... card out... pin code... pray it works... back the receipt... back in the wallet... back in my pocket... back to bagging groceries...

... I'm breaking code right now... I have been... And everyone in line knows I'm breaking code... the lady swiping my items knows, I'm sure... and the guy walking in, with the double take... The manager with his hands at his sides... But this is not a stage and I am not an actor... I will not pander to them...

... And this is the code...

... Next to my American-sized grocery haul... the lady behind me is holding a head of lettuce and three tomatoes... and behind her dude in a red toque is carrying two cartons of milk... behind that is lady in a snowsuit with a small basket... THE CODE is to let them through... Save them time... All is right in the world... Hooray for real gentlemen... ... ... ... But this also my time... and maybe I'm not a real gentleman... because behind him is a couple of eggs and some cheese... and behind that guy is a package of shaved ham... and behind those two... three wine bottles... everyone is just a few items today... lining all the way back to the frozen food aisle... How can I let just one through?... or two?... It's like waving people on during a slow round of golf... I might as well let everyone pass...

... I decide... And in line I play the role very well... look behind... behind again... stretch over to the side and look at the people behind them... show these old ladies with my eyes that 1) I know I should let them pass... but 2) It's just not going to happen... and so with me against the world I took my stand... And arms full of groceries as I leave out the door... victorious...

Es ist so ein schoner tag

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kgsrows8ars

... "Und Ich flieg, flieg, flieg wie ein Flieger, (And I fly like a plane...)

"You like this song?...

"Bin so stark, stark, stark wie ein Tiger (I'm strong like a Tiger)

... They only play these songs in the winter...

Und so groß, groß, groß wie ne Giraffe So hoch oh, oh, oh! (and big as a giraffe, so tall)

... everyone goes out together... it's so cold...

Und Ich spring, spring, spring immer wieder (and I jump all around)

... and you are close together to stay warm...

Und Ich schwimm, schwimm, schwimm zu Dir rüber (I swim over to you)

... everyone is drinking... and singing... and dancing...

Und Ich nimm, nimm, nimm Dich bei der Hand, (I take you by the hand)

... everyone knows these songs...

Weil Ich Dich mag Und Ich sag (because I like you... and I say)

... It might be storming outside... but you drink warm wine...

Heut ist so ein schöner Tag la-la-la-la-la (It is such a beautiful day!)

... you stand on the tables and sing... this is fun...

Heut ist so ein schöner Tag la-la-la-la-la

this is Italy and Germany in the winter... ... ...

Heut ist so ein schöner Tagla-la-la-la-la

you don't have songs like this in America?"

Heut ist so ein schöner Tagla-la-la-la-la"

"No, we take ourselves way too seriously to have this kind of fun."

Selva vs Ortisei vs Bolzano vs the World

In that order...
... About 5 years ago... Selva was the smallest, and their 2nd league... and sometimes they played against Ortisei, which is bigger and played in the first league... who played against Bolzano, bigger still, and always won the first league... who in turn play in the continental cup every year against the rest of Europe...
... There is little love between these towns... and if the smaller team ever beats the bigger team the town parties for a week... and in return... the bigger team just loves lording over the smaller team...
... Bolzano loves to call the farm kids rednecks... those farmers... Ortisei loves to say that Selva is 20 years behind... don't understand what I'm saying?... You will in 20 years... It's not life or death but bad blood runs deep in this area...
... And because the new hockey rink is in Selva the people from Ortisei won't go to the games because the old rivalry still sits bad with them... "I don't want to go all the way up there... I don't want to give them my money"...

A 900% Markup

Little known fact about Italian cafes... they charge you more if you sit down than if you stand at the counter... It's a charge for atmosphere... They also charge for water and soda refills... And sometimes charge for ketchup... What I did not know about the piano player playing the Beetlejuice song is that she represented atmosphere times about a thousand... percent... because we opened our menus to find espressos were 9 euros... Small little coffees in small little cups no bigger than a pinkie finger... Add a little bit of foam for a Cappacinos and it's 11 euros... And don't get me started on 21 euros cocktails...
... "I'm not paying more for this coffee than I did for these gloves"...
... "Well I'm not paying more for this coffee than I did for these pants"... (one-upper)
... But with a maitre d' and a waiter giving death stares and blocking the only remaining exit... and because we had just used the facilities... we would most likely be stuck paying for something... Cheapest thing being an 8 euro hotdog... After a quick huddle we decided to just stand up and go to the bar... All in a line... strength in numbers... Big guys first... And it's almost like the Maitre D' knew what was going on because we gave him a little nod at the menus... and he gave us a little knowing nod back... and then we were at the counter...
... "One Euro"... at the counter... the same exact espresso seconds before we almost bought... because some of us were too embarrassed to stand up...

You Put WHAT... WHERE?

Waiting for our food... As I'm picking at what I hope is a relatively edible piece of bread... a guy... I kid you not... takes a piece of bread... a knife... ketchup packets... begins to spread ketchup all over the piece of bread... and it's just bread... nothing else... and that's gross enough... BUT THEN... beyond comprehension... and in all ways inconceivable... mayonnaise... mayonnaise... on top of the ketchup... ... ...
... and eats it...