When had Da Vinci figured he was done? What was that last brush stroke to make it final...? ... what made it complete...? ... ...
... ... and when did Michelangelo finish his masterpiece? What was that last hammer fall?... Why was it the very last...? ... how could it be the last... as if the fullness of that marble, all it every could have been, took form in that shape... and there was no other way it could have been made...
At some point you destroy rather than create... I know... I ruined a perfectly good paint-able coffee mug because I couldn't quit at simple... at all done... I carried on and made a mess of it...
... but how do you know?... when every corner is rounded... when ever white is colour... when every argument is full, and shaped, and complete... but how do you know???
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Friday, November 12, 2010
The Cheapest Thrill
The one constant that seems to be in law school is the amount of atheists I find... strong ones... no sitting on the fence in this ball park... swing for the fences in your face I'm an atheist... it's a weekly occurance... and maybe I shouldn't be surprised by it... but I am surprised.
Here we are in a profession that makes a living in the grey area... 'It Depends' as our favorite answer... no solid lines, no absolutes... merely an argument... sometimes for arguments sake...
Sure a decision gets made, because they to get made, because the world has to work... A person is found guilty or innocent... true... but it's only because we set up the box... we built the guidelines... we set out the imaginary walls of our culture... but... we know full well that the lines that are made up in our heads, in our words, in our courts, and it's an illusion... They exist because we enforce them... but they don't mean anything after that... we could just as easily have completely different laws, and completely different systems, and a completely different culture... and we know it... and every day we argue over what kind of rules we want... and why?
And I would think a profession that is taught that it 'depends'... and taught to think... and taught to question... and taught to see things from every angle... and argue every side... wouldn't be strong on anything with so little knowledge to go by... The brightest minds in the country and they haven't thought to question why?... Who constantly search for beauty, and love, and enjoyment, and a connection... and never thought to ever question why?... Who see all the hurt, and pain, and death in this world... and never thought to question why?... Who search for meaning but can never actually put their finger on it...
Who in all their life, and in the knowledge of death, ever stop to think for a second that in their pretty little box... maybe something is missing...
This is the kind of stuff that would never make sense unless something greater than this existed... something like having someone you love pass away... I could never begin to imagine... unless I knew that someday things will all be made to work for good...
... because the answer of the world is no answer... it sounds pretty hopeless...
Here we are in a profession that makes a living in the grey area... 'It Depends' as our favorite answer... no solid lines, no absolutes... merely an argument... sometimes for arguments sake...
Sure a decision gets made, because they to get made, because the world has to work... A person is found guilty or innocent... true... but it's only because we set up the box... we built the guidelines... we set out the imaginary walls of our culture... but... we know full well that the lines that are made up in our heads, in our words, in our courts, and it's an illusion... They exist because we enforce them... but they don't mean anything after that... we could just as easily have completely different laws, and completely different systems, and a completely different culture... and we know it... and every day we argue over what kind of rules we want... and why?
And I would think a profession that is taught that it 'depends'... and taught to think... and taught to question... and taught to see things from every angle... and argue every side... wouldn't be strong on anything with so little knowledge to go by... The brightest minds in the country and they haven't thought to question why?... Who constantly search for beauty, and love, and enjoyment, and a connection... and never thought to ever question why?... Who see all the hurt, and pain, and death in this world... and never thought to question why?... Who search for meaning but can never actually put their finger on it...
Who in all their life, and in the knowledge of death, ever stop to think for a second that in their pretty little box... maybe something is missing...
This is the kind of stuff that would never make sense unless something greater than this existed... something like having someone you love pass away... I could never begin to imagine... unless I knew that someday things will all be made to work for good...
... because the answer of the world is no answer... it sounds pretty hopeless...
Just like a crow chasing a butterfly,
Dandelions lost in the summer sky,
When you and I were getting high as outer space,
I never thought you would slip away,
I guess I was just a little too late.
But even worse might be to burst with joy and gratitude and have nothing and no one there to scream back that it has meaning, and there is beauty...
Just open your eyes
Just open your eyes
And see that life is beautiful.
Just open your eyes
And see that life is beautiful.
I know it is... but why?
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Thoughts from an ex-hockey player law school student
This is how friendship happens... is you find out you don't have to be afraid of them anymore... they cheer for the same team as you... or they cheer for any team... or they simply like sports... or they don't hate sports... or they put up with sports... or... really... have nothing to do with sports... but have something... anything... the same as you... ... ... is how it starts...
It's worship... like, pagan worship... these interests we share... the ability to lose yourself in a crowd... completely safe... walls down... fists up... the team scores... explode... the stadium... as one... one voice... cries together... this is how community happens... ... ... and could care less what sports being played... or band is singing... or sale is happening... just to be carried away with the crowd...
... I've been in a lot of crowds... and a lot of stadiums... Won championships in double overtime... I've seen Fenway when the Sox won... Watched bands playing to sold out concerts... and it's a rush... all the best kinds of carried away...
... and I know the flip side of the group... the fear that comes with a crowd... the fear of the hostile... the way they turn on you... the way everyone gets tested... and the eye of the group falls on you... ... ... or... ... ... the safety you feel when it's someone else the crowd attacks... the way you would do anything to keep it someone else... the safety they must have felt as fans in the Coliseum... the safety we feel behind the glass...
... and it's this safety... unity... nothing ever compares to the collapsing of walls, the safety, the ease of being carried away, even as a stranger, like worship...
... And then there's real worship... I think it might be the biggest loss of anyone that has not gone to church... is not experiencing what it's like to worship... really free...
It's worship... like, pagan worship... these interests we share... the ability to lose yourself in a crowd... completely safe... walls down... fists up... the team scores... explode... the stadium... as one... one voice... cries together... this is how community happens... ... ... and could care less what sports being played... or band is singing... or sale is happening... just to be carried away with the crowd...
... I've been in a lot of crowds... and a lot of stadiums... Won championships in double overtime... I've seen Fenway when the Sox won... Watched bands playing to sold out concerts... and it's a rush... all the best kinds of carried away...
... and I know the flip side of the group... the fear that comes with a crowd... the fear of the hostile... the way they turn on you... the way everyone gets tested... and the eye of the group falls on you... ... ... or... ... ... the safety you feel when it's someone else the crowd attacks... the way you would do anything to keep it someone else... the safety they must have felt as fans in the Coliseum... the safety we feel behind the glass...
... and it's this safety... unity... nothing ever compares to the collapsing of walls, the safety, the ease of being carried away, even as a stranger, like worship...
... And then there's real worship... I think it might be the biggest loss of anyone that has not gone to church... is not experiencing what it's like to worship... really free...
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Thoughts from an ex-hockey player law school student
In Hindsight...
I've probably second guessed almost everything I said or did this past weekend in Calgary.
It's not necessarily regret... or even that I think it went all that bad. It's just... all they have to go on is one conversation... that's their impression... and that's it. Wham, bam, thank you ma'am...
Cause when you have that many students to pick from, I assume, you look for any excuse to write somebody off... It's like Seinfeld getting rid of girlfriends... low talker, doesn't look good in the dark, man hands, didn't taste his dessert, ate her peas one at a time, liked a commercial he hated... ... ... thought, that she thought, that he had picked his nose...
... That's the kind of thing we're dealing with here...
Here's an example of a first impression.... I'm on the bus to school, and this elderly guy is having all this trouble getting on, finding a seat, and we're all helping him out. Eventually he asks someone to push the button to stop the bus. Bus doesn't stop. A few people mumble that the driver missed her stop. A few people say that the driver is off. One guy yells at the driver "could you please stop"...
... as a reply to the ones complaining... and directed at everyone... in defense of the driver (that I know this happens almost every day to... that doesn't realize it's an elderly man... who is just doing her job... and that can't really say anything and drive...) I say "the bus doesn't stop at that stop"...
... And now I'm the jerk that won't make the exception for this elderly man... ... ... and, oh great, I just made eye contact with the guy that yelled for the bus to stop... and he's a player from the Rosetown senior team...
I've probably second guessed almost everything I said or did this past weekend in Calgary.
It's not necessarily regret... or even that I think it went all that bad. It's just... all they have to go on is one conversation... that's their impression... and that's it. Wham, bam, thank you ma'am...
Cause when you have that many students to pick from, I assume, you look for any excuse to write somebody off... It's like Seinfeld getting rid of girlfriends... low talker, doesn't look good in the dark, man hands, didn't taste his dessert, ate her peas one at a time, liked a commercial he hated... ... ... thought, that she thought, that he had picked his nose...
... That's the kind of thing we're dealing with here...
Here's an example of a first impression.... I'm on the bus to school, and this elderly guy is having all this trouble getting on, finding a seat, and we're all helping him out. Eventually he asks someone to push the button to stop the bus. Bus doesn't stop. A few people mumble that the driver missed her stop. A few people say that the driver is off. One guy yells at the driver "could you please stop"...
... as a reply to the ones complaining... and directed at everyone... in defense of the driver (that I know this happens almost every day to... that doesn't realize it's an elderly man... who is just doing her job... and that can't really say anything and drive...) I say "the bus doesn't stop at that stop"...
... And now I'm the jerk that won't make the exception for this elderly man... ... ... and, oh great, I just made eye contact with the guy that yelled for the bus to stop... and he's a player from the Rosetown senior team...
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Thoughts from an ex-hockey player law school student
Cro Magnon...
There are only so many ways you can try to explain something before you begin to wonder whether or not you're insane. Such as... for example... when I tried to get a guy to unplug the woofer from his stereo because it was shaking the walls of our apartment.
"BUT I've already turned the volume down as low as it can go...!"
"No, see, what I'm saying is, it's not about the volume, you can actually turn the volume up! Just unplug the woofer"
"LOOK, the bass is turned all the way to zero...!"
"Maybe, but here, feel the woofer, it's shaking the ground, at least put it on a pillow or a box or something"
"I'll GIVE you the controller, you can try to turn the volume lower..."
"Ummmm... okay, will your system still work if you unplug the woofer?"
"GO ahead and call the cops... You're being unreasonable... I should be allowed to listen to music in my own house... I'm a firefighter and this is my schedule..."
"Well... ?... ?... ?... ... !... ... I'm a lawyer... and this is nuisance!"
"okay LEAVE"...
(lol)
There are only so many ways you can try to explain something before you begin to wonder whether or not you're insane. Such as... for example... when I tried to get a guy to unplug the woofer from his stereo because it was shaking the walls of our apartment.
"BUT I've already turned the volume down as low as it can go...!"
"No, see, what I'm saying is, it's not about the volume, you can actually turn the volume up! Just unplug the woofer"
"LOOK, the bass is turned all the way to zero...!"
"Maybe, but here, feel the woofer, it's shaking the ground, at least put it on a pillow or a box or something"
"I'll GIVE you the controller, you can try to turn the volume lower..."
"Ummmm... okay, will your system still work if you unplug the woofer?"
"GO ahead and call the cops... You're being unreasonable... I should be allowed to listen to music in my own house... I'm a firefighter and this is my schedule..."
"Well... ?... ?... ?... ... !... ... I'm a lawyer... and this is nuisance!"
"okay LEAVE"...
(lol)
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Thoughts from an ex-hockey player law school student
The other side of the law is a whole lot scarier than the one I like to live.
The side where the rubber hits the road and things get real. Where you go on a class field trip to the Provincial court house and the double homicide over the weekend is in pre-trial processes in courtroom 1 at 2 o'clock. Where the guy is literally 10 steps from you. And the girl shakes her head and looks down while the charges are read out against her.
The side that has a guy getting handcuffed in front of your face, and sent to jail for 6 months with a family of 3 dependent on him as sole provider. But did I mention it's a domestic violence charge. And the side where a flashy lawyer in an expensive suit hates calling statutory protections mere 'technicalities' in a DUI dangerous driving offense.
The reality to us civilians is that the only difference between that huge guy looking down at the floor with guilt and the same guy staring you down at a bar ready to punch your teeth in are the cops lining the halls. The power is real.
But surreal at the same time as all us students laugh and joke, carefree on a field trip, while people's lives are touched to the core all around. While life happens.
The side where the rubber hits the road and things get real. Where you go on a class field trip to the Provincial court house and the double homicide over the weekend is in pre-trial processes in courtroom 1 at 2 o'clock. Where the guy is literally 10 steps from you. And the girl shakes her head and looks down while the charges are read out against her.
The side that has a guy getting handcuffed in front of your face, and sent to jail for 6 months with a family of 3 dependent on him as sole provider. But did I mention it's a domestic violence charge. And the side where a flashy lawyer in an expensive suit hates calling statutory protections mere 'technicalities' in a DUI dangerous driving offense.
The reality to us civilians is that the only difference between that huge guy looking down at the floor with guilt and the same guy staring you down at a bar ready to punch your teeth in are the cops lining the halls. The power is real.
But surreal at the same time as all us students laugh and joke, carefree on a field trip, while people's lives are touched to the core all around. While life happens.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Thoughts from an ex-hockey player law school student
I submitted an article into the law school's local paper...
These are all the reasons why it may not be received very well...
1. I joined a discussion about the curve without bothering to figure out what the discussion was
2. I pretended to be a cocky disrespectful first-year because I thought it was an overdone metaphor and thus artistically funny, but there is a very large chance that people won't catch the sarcasm
3. I pretended to be conservative in a place run by liberals
4. I am a conservative in a place run by liberals
These are all the reasons why it may not be received very well...
1. I joined a discussion about the curve without bothering to figure out what the discussion was
2. I pretended to be a cocky disrespectful first-year because I thought it was an overdone metaphor and thus artistically funny, but there is a very large chance that people won't catch the sarcasm
3. I pretended to be conservative in a place run by liberals
4. I am a conservative in a place run by liberals
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