9Am - Pregame
Wurstel and supersize pretzels are the obvious choice this morning... A)... because eating white sausage after 12 noon is bad luck... and... number 2... because nothing goes better with white sausage than a supersize pretzel...
... This is also the part where we buy 5 euro sleds and Cappuccinos... and Venezianos... and maybe one or two Radlers...
... And this is also the part we find out that everything is closed on Monday... and since we fly out Tuesday morning... that we're screwed...
10Am - Pregame #2
The first and most important part of this... is... I finally get to meet the 3 guys below us that kept me up last night... and the night before... in the process of their 3-day end of the year bender... ... ... which so happened to include an all-night rave party 2 nights ago... and a Rock Band marathon last night... spoiling our plan to blast loud music on the radio all day to keep them up... in a reality play about what comes around goes around...
But...
It just so happens they're really great guys... and it just so happens the new German word of the day is 'forst'...
... Half-price gondola...
... and go...
10:30 AM Round 1
It's about getting a feel for the opponent... trading jabs... dancing... floating... jabbing... this is not a one-punch-knockout kind of monster... let the crowd get their money's worth... besides... the mountain lulls us into a sense of security... blue skies and a warm sun have a way of doing that to you...
... Heffe is another German word they teach you about over here... I repeat it to myself about 2 or 3 times...
... and besides... for how close the next hut is... so few skiers to dodge... it's a cake-walk... we're down in no time... with minimal damage done... and minimal grumblings... forgot to bring gloves... forgot to bring sunglasses... quickly drowned out with a shot of... yucgh!... Grappa...
11:30 AM Round 2
This is the first and most necessary lesson about a group of guys trying to impress each other... rule #1: there will always be too much alcohol... and... when you think no sane person could ever buy another round... comes rule #2: there will always be too much alcohol...
... but maybe... like blood on the ground... appearing to be more than there really is... works the same for beer glasses on a table... because I'm no hero... and I don't pretend to be one... and I'm not surrounded by any that I can see... ... ... except one... and yet we sail through this round with ease...
... And after Ravioli... one of the greatest Steaks of my life... Tiramasu... a digestif promoting good digestion... later found out to be more Grappa... a small bread fight... and several prank calls...
... we go...
... the one off to the left over there?... or right?... no, no... over there... past those ones... around the bend... on the left... ... ... okay, I'll follow you... well keep up!...
... With the first signs of weather... some clouds rolling in above us... some fog below us... or clouds... I'm not really sure what to call fog at 2100 meters...
... Caught in a fog bank we had our first casualty of the day... at a bend... he went straight... full speed... hit the lip... and flew... in 2 feet of powder... soaking wet is not a good way to spend the rest of the day... ... ... the rest of us fared little better... because stopping on sleds sans breaks comes with great difficulty... we have... the rolling stop... the drag your foot and spray snow over your whole body and your going so fast that it stings your face stop... and the unable to turn hit a blunt object or person stop... ... ... 2 feet of powder starts sounding pretty good after all...
3:30 PM Round 4
Surrounded on all sides and no chance to escape... Jagerbombs outnumber us maybe 3 to 1... and we battle on fearless...
Berns... say... three shot glasses here... two of them have water... one has Grappa... can't smell them... you pick one... kay that one... ... ... now... I'll tell you... this other shot glass... one you didn't pick... is only water... I take it away... now there are only two... do you want to keep the one you picked or switch?... ... ...
Okay... now I have one for you... I'm thinking of a number... pick a number either one or two... you're wrong, you drink... you're right, I drink... what's your number?... ... ...
5 PM Round 5
No longer the same day... a blizzard outside and we're going through it... and this is not me being negative... this is the coolest thing I've done in maybe forever... sledding down a mountain... and it's only getting better... nothing good ever comes without a struggle... what's worth the price is always worth the fight...
... so we go...
... A whole team down the mountain... on sleds as big as dinner plates... steering impossible... braking unlikely...
6 PM Round 6
The bar is famous for one reason... that it's tilted a good meter from one side to the other... that you can't fill anything to full without it spilling... that you bang on the table hard enough and everything slides to the floor... ... ... and it has a guitar...
... and it has speck... and cheese... and baurntoast...
,.. I played guitar to reminisce... but Lynard Skynard does not belong at a party... and has nothing on Fleigerland... and definitely nothing on the Ice Bears...
... it's now 4 inches of fresh snow on the ground... the steepest part to go... and... oh ya... the snow cats are out...
7:15 PM Round 7
It took us a whole lot longer than expected to get down... after the steep part was supposed to be clear sailing... but whatever near death experiences might have been had on the steep part... it's the flatter part that got us... because sleds don't move an inch on 5 inches of wet snow...
But now we're down... and in taxis... and cold... and wet... and tired...
But home... and shower... and eat... and 10 minute power nap... and phone call... and drive... and doesn't matter we're the only guys in the place at 7:30... because 3 hours from now this place is gonna be packed... until then I'm sure we can find something to do...
10 PM Round 8
People rarely judge others based on qualities that person really has... but resort back to previously conceived notions... or strongly held bias... and thus, anything you have to say about me does more to show you than it could ever really be about me... ... ... you got that?...
And secondly... I can tell you already have an opinion about it... and it doesn't matter what the reality is... you're just going to look for anything there is to justify what you already think... because people don't like to be wrong... and I can tell you don't like to be wrong... Miss has an autographed book by Douglas Adams and yet doesn't know how the book ends...
And lastly... this is a quote for you... I find it appropriate... you ready?... ok... so... the more you know, the more you know you don't know... ... ... no... it doesn't matter who said it... or wrote it... think about what it means... say it again?... ok... the more that you know about everything, the more you realize you don't know about everything...
... So... in summation... when you tell me that all guys are stupid... and narrow-minded... and that you know a lot about a lot of things and are super smart or whatever... I just don't believe you... it's bias... it's pride... it's a defense mechanism... and if you really knew a lot I would expect you to say you didn't know a lot... now excuse me... my wife is calling...
1 AM Round 9
Coronas... ... ... Coronas because of Mexico... because we're going to Mexico and you, also, are going to Mexico at the same time... and we're totally going to see you there... so Coronas... and what is the deal with Italy serving Coronas with lemons?!...
oh... hey Danelle!!!!...
and I know it's Dali... and I know it's a dance club... ya... I know... but I'm not really about dancing right now... in fact... I'm fine on this stool right here... ... ... no?... not allowed... fine... let's go...
Afterwards... Round 10
2 police checkpoints... and yes... my smoking hot wife is sober... hey... HEY... YO... wake up... we're at your place... ... ... ummmm... he's going the wrong way... uh... did he just fall into a bush... is he good?... ya... he's fine... let's go... to spaghetti... bed... back out... gas... save the stranded... no... don't worry... it's what friends do... and back... bed...
... Great day...
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