A Tannin Never Lies

...Percentage is key for wine... More than anything... Look for this on a bottle before making any decision... Not as in alcohol content... But as in total all around goodness... In essence it means how many grapes were pruned off the vine in order to give the other grapes more flavor... In the course of growth they trim the leaves 3 times... and the grapes once... at the exact right time so no new grapes grow on the vine... Adding all the extra flavor and nutrients to the grapes still attached to the vine... 60-70% is the highest you will probably find... It's difficult to find a wine like this because at this percentage the seller will not make a profit...
...And one important note... If you order a wine that's even close to the expensive side... and... say... older than you... you will be obliged to pay for the wine not matter what... vinegar is part of the risk...
...Don't turn a bottle around in your hand... don't tip it towards its cork... store a bottle slanted upwards and do not let the cork get wet... If you know you will serve a certain wine that night... open the bottle a few hours before to let it breathe... there is no need for a decanter if this is done... If a fly happens to fall in... grasp the bottle firmly... and one quick thrust will send off a few millimeters of wine from the top along with the fly... If part of the cork falls in, a piece of string made into a loop works well to pull it back out...
... And open...
...The cork is the tip-off... enough to know whether the wine has turned... if it smells like vinegar, rest assured it's vinegar... Even the best wines from only a few years back will find a few bottles in the throes... This is almost always the case for the first or last bottle made from a cask... The Sommelier will smell the cork, thus he will already know before pouring if it's good or not... So as sampler, your job is not to see if the wine is good or bad... And it's also not your job to see if you like the taste... you don't send the wine back on taste... all told... You sample the wine because you bought it... And in return they give you a glorified 1 minutes time in the sun...
...That is why the Sommelier always presents the wine to the table... and pours it with the label facing the one that bought it... In essence... You are the man and now everyone else knows it... It's not unheard of to have a candle underneath the neck of the bottle to protect from sediment... When you start seeing it creep up the bottle you stop pouring, bring it down... wait... continue...
...The wine is poured small enough... and the glass big enough... that it's not necessary to hold it to the light in order to see... Any white surface will do... You are not looking for sediment because any Sommelier worth his snooty spectacles will have stored and poured the bottle without ever dipping the bottle towards the cork... thus... any sediment is still at the bottom of the bottle... You are simply looking for color... texture... and anything else you might think of to enhance your experience of the wine...
...And don't swirl the glass around too much. Two or three quick swirls, done rightly, will get air in to the wine... Grab the glass from the very bottom of the stem... (Americans are notorious for holding the wine at the top... fingers touching the wine... changing it's temperature... changing it's taste...) ... ... As for swirling... amatuers would do best to keep it on the table to make it easier... start with a bigger first swirl, a smaller quick second, and bring it in by the third... should get the wine evenly around the glass... any more than that and it's actually too much air getting into the wine and too much flavor getting out... ...You cannot hide from tannins... It's impossible... and they will tell you with utmost certainty if the wine is good... and just as easily tell you if it came out of a bag from the bottom shelf of the corner store... Wine will stay up around the glass where it was swirled... The longer it takes for this wine to fall back to the bottom, the better the wine...

...When you smell there is no need to stick your nose into the glass... no need for noise... no need for the grand gesture... 1 cm from the glass... inhale... sit back and think about what the smell brings to mind. You may think this is the time to delve into the depths of grade 12 poetry and bring out your best flowery, rosy, summery description. It's not. If it's an Italian wine the only words that should come out of your mouth are along the lines of... fruity... heavy... or light... full-bodied... long finish... and... although it is grapes used in the wine many times the smell is... cranberries... so it's allowed...

...Lastly the taste... noise preferred... your goal is to get the wine to every area of your mouth... and it's really up to you how you do it... Swish it... sift it... some combination of tongue and breathe will do the trick... and see how full the flavor is... enjoy it... for 8 seconds... then swallow... the longer the taste stays the more expensive the wine... but a good wine does not have to bite... that sour pucker feeling can and will happen... but well-made can have lasting power and keep the dryness out... and happy and healthy the next day...

...When served... the highest ranking/eldest woman will be given a glass first... then down the line of women... then the same for the men... It is known as a gift from God and should be treated that way... respected... enjoyed... never chugged... never too much... Look them in the eyes... never cross glasses... make sure you get everyone... Salute...