Weak

Disclaimer: I don't pretend that I am a selfless person... but I know strength when I see it.

... Last night someone told me that anyone who believes in God is weak...
... That they need to feel like someone is looking after them...
... That they can't stand on their own...
... And this is not exactly news... it's a very common statement... especially when you hear this from a healthy, self-made, strong person... and I can't hold it against them... in all honesty... because I can see where they get this...
... First of all because... and I'll talk about Christians because it's what I know... because most people become a Christian when they are broken... when their life has fallen apart... if they are rich and powerful and healthy what use would they have for God?... everything is already going well... wouldn't success be a sign that they already have a correct outlook on life?... Why look for God?... Why change anything?...
... And so a Christian begins as weak... broken... searching... and that is what the world sees... someone that can't live day to day without leaning on a crutch... and certainly God can be a crutch...
... But that is not where it ends... far from it... there is a journey involved... and the end of that journey is very different from the beginning... I do not think a full grown Christian looks at God as a crutch... an outsider could still say that the person could not live without God... could not stand on their own... won't leave the shore and go out into the ocean... afraid of the freedom or something... but as it plays out in reality God enables to do things that most people that did not believe in God would never be willing to do... would never want to do... Christians may be called weak for needing God... but they also act stronger because they have God...
... And there is a difference between HAVING to have God in your life and WANTING to have God in your life... the bible is full of metaphors about a relationship with God... and they revolve around God as a father... and they revolve around people moving from infants to maturity... now how would it look at 35 if you were still dependent on you parents for everything... Sure you would want to be close to them and learn from them... but the relationship is different than it was when you were 10... You don't have to have them around to survive... but you want them around... Similarly a mature Christian is not afraid of their shadow if they aren't reading their bible and within 10 steps of a church... and maybe it's possible to do everything they already do but simply take God out of the picture... but what would give their actions meaning... it would make their life smaller... (more real, say the scientists... but as GK Chesterton would say... 'Chess players go crazy, not poets'...)... and chances are they would actually not behave in the same way... and not be as strong of character... if God was not involved in their life...
... All you need to do is to look at church leaders in the past to find men and women of great strength...
... What kind of strength would it take not to shrink from death... or torture...
... What strength is there in keeping yourself vulnerable even when you know people will take advantage of you...
... What kind of strength must you show to be selfless, and think of others as you would think of yourself...
... And yes... this is strength... it is the real test of strength... vulnerability... selflessness... even though most people percieve it as weakness...
... Vulnerability can often be a sign of great strength underneath... on a grand scale... Great Britain and the United States have been dominant world powers... Yet they would let themselves get taken advantage of by other countries... keep open trade while other countries keep their borders closed... give money away... in essence, let themselves be vulnerable... and the reason the US could do that is because of its strength... it knows these small bites will not kill it...
... Or in a more individual level... if you ever see 2 dogs cross paths... especially if one is a great big dog and a very small dog... It is the small dog that barks, and bares it's teeth, and does any number of things to show strength... It might even nip at the the big dogs feet... While the big dog just sits there and does nothing... or takes some injury and yet does not fight back... Now which one of these dogs has true strength?...
... The strength of vulnerability... or selflessness since a vulnerable person in this case is a person that thinks of the other person before themselves... can also be seen within a family... for parents have extreme power within their household... yet parents will bear incredible trial and agony in their kids teenage years... they will leave themselves vulnerable to a child's rebuke because they understand that their child has insecurities... that they lash out if they are hurt... because they hope that as they mature... it will put an end to those rebukes...
... Thus vulnerability, though it appears to be a weakness, is often a sign of strength...
... And yet... we have another problem... because the kind of strength that God can bring... the ability to be vulnerable... is the same action that a weak person would do... and so we are faced with another way that Christians can be weak... for... if they let themselves get taken advantage of... we think they are naive... because it is exactly how a naive person would act... if they do good to those who persecute them... we think they are cowards... if they turn the other cheek... because that is how a coward would act... We would ask... if a person is strong why would they let these things happen to them?...

...

... I have often wrestled with this dilemma...

... are you supposed to be a doormat and get walked over because you hope they will eventually change their ways?... Only think of the other person... and not of your pain... be selfless... be strong in character only... Is that what is means to be a true Christian?...

... It's possible to imagine a situation where it seems like you must intervene and fight back... Would you back down from a bully on the playground?... Would you be the Ned Flanders to the conniving Homer Simpson?.... Or on a larger scale - from a long-standing debate we had in grade 10 history class - Would you have let Hitler take over all of Europe?... not intervened... at the cost of millions of lives in concentration camps... because there is little justification in the bible to fight back if all we know is to 'love your enemies'?... All our founding leaders let themselves be killed by evil men... are we supposed to follow their example?...

... 'Unless a seed falls to the ground and dies it cannot produce any wheat'...

... is that what is expected of us?...

... And the answer we came up with at the time was that you should fight back... This isn't the kind of vulnerability that lets a strong men do whatever they like to this selfless person... or a child to whatever they like to the parent... or a country do whatever it likes to another... it means that you treat the other party with respect even if they don't deserve it... you don't take advantage of them in any way... BUT if they come to attack you, or take advantage of you, you can defend yourself because you want to save the attacker from themselves... Just as a parent chastises a child... or a person calls out a friend's error... You care enough about them that you do not want to see them fall into depravity... you stop them... because you actually do 'love your enemies'...

... So that is one side of the coin I guess... Why a person that believes in God appears weak... Why strength sometimes is confused with weakness... Why at many times it really is strength... And even the limits of this kind of vulnerability...

... The other side of the coin is how strength can actually come through weaknesses... through the selflessness that would allow others to take advantage of them... if only there was no one around willing to take advantage of them... because an entire society of people that valued others more than themselves would be a powerful sight to behold...

... For I believe that an entire society made up of selfless, vulnerable people... like a family... is the strongest kind of society that could exist... Romans were not Christians, but their selfless belief in their city drove them to do anything... even die... to defend it... The Romans did feats of incredible bravery, went through torture and fire, because they considered Rome as more important than them... and Romans did not care for wealth while Rome was great... they would give their entire fortunes to the city because they cared more about their city than themselves... and I'm not sure I can attribute this strength or this selfless nature to a belief in god... Romans believed in gods... that is true... but it might simply stem from the fact that they were all Romans... that they had enemies... and from what I think I know, it seems like it was their desire for glory that was the drive behind their selfless acts... perhaps glory in order to please their gods... perhaps glory because they were that close as a people...
... And Rome fell very easily once these selfless values gave way to greed and corruption...
... Now take the US again... it was the selfless acts of people in the US that gave it it's strength... It was George Washington and other generals giving up their power back to the people that enabled the country to even have a chance... it's people giving their lives every day for others because they believe in the country and the principles for which it stands... and I think the US has, for a large percentage of the population, has lost this kind of selflessness... Sure they have it towards their family and close friends... but to complete strangers or even enemies?... there is not that kind of unity... maybe because it has lost an identity that they all share... I don't know... but I think if you take the problems the US has today... and somehow convinced them that they should treat everone in the US how they treat the ones they love (even if they only love themselves)... the problems would most likely be solved in a month... All of them... And the country would come out of it incredibly strong... Like the Roman empire before it...
... But all it takes is one person taking advantage of selfless people for the entire system to crumble... for example... in the US at present... greed is seen as good... And even good intentions can be destroyed by this kind of greed... The bill that set up Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, and other lending agencies to allow anyone to get loans for college, or houses, was eventually used to ensnare these people in crippling debt... Because colleges rose tuitions, house owners rose prices, and banks rose interest rates... in the end the desire to make money overcame the desire to help the poor and put everyone in a worse situation... skyrocketing debt, defaulted loans, and foreclosures... It was good intentions that created the housing bubble... good intentions mixed with an overvaluation of money...
... But how would you get someone to look at a complete stranger... or a perceived enemy... and treat them with the same kind of respect and dignity that they give their close friends or family?... What can break down barriers of age, race, skin color or language and form the kind of society that we know is possible among close friends and family?... What could create the kind of unity that an enemy figure... or mutual need... does artificially?... What makes a selfless person?...
... Italians and Dutch both seem closer to each other than people back in North America... possibly because they feel an ethnic tie that cannot be found over the seas... but when it is in a place full of very different ethnicities what can be done?...
... Without God the answer has put in place some sort of a contract system... a way of living that each person buys into, fully believing that everyone acting according to this contract will be better off... But the problem has always been that, in reality, people are selfish... and if they recognize an opportunity to take advantage of the contract, without anyone else finding out, they probably will... there is no selfless intent... and I'm going to describe selfless intent like this... the difference between fighting in some other country to win territory verses fighting in your own country to defend your family... fighting for spoil is inherently selfish and a fighter would look for any chance to give themselves the upper hand even amongst his allies as long as they are guaranteed a victory... but fighting for your homes you will do anything and everything, no matter what the danger, to protect the ones you love... You would not dream of cheating the contract because it would do harm to things that you value greater than yourself... without God, outside of your immediate surrounding it is very hard value other people as greater than yourself... or the same as yourself for that matter... It's very hard to induce this kind of selfless intent when the people are complete strangers...
... The newest way to protect the social contract is to have cameras everywhere... to make sure no one is breaking the rules of the contract... but I wonder if this is really the way the general population wants to go... to be spied on...
... In a lot of people's minds that is what God is for the people... a being that sees everything and who will judge you for everything you did on earth... and I think that is why people look at religion as another system of control... similar to these cameras being a system of control...
... But the real issue is not about control but about creating that selfless intent... and it is given in a worldview like Christianity because it sees every person as part of your family... or whatever person close to you creates the kind of selfless feelings that family usually entails... and thus you would treat even complete strangers the kind of way you would treat the person you care about deepest... you would not think about cheating on a social contract because you would never want to hurt them... so it is not an issue of having a big eye in the sky... a great eye of sauron if you will... controlling and monitoring everything... but selfless intent...
... And I'm not going to sit there and say that this kind of action can always benefit the individual person... Sometimes one person gets shafted... and it's usually the most selfless person that takes the hit because they want the best for everyone else... Most church leaders were killed, and let themselves be killed, by those who used force... A lot of religions reflect this kind of selflessness... and most of the times these religious leaders die because of their beliefs... like the story of a prince who saw a mother Tiger too weak to feed her baby... and the prince offered his body to the Tiger in order to save the baby... Could you do that?... because this story is a little our there for North Americans... but we have a similar scenario... would you be willing to be the odd man out of the life-raft in order to save everyone else?... I know I could if it was my family... but could I if it was strangers... and I had a family I was thinking about?... Could I really see them just as much a part of my family as my real family?... It's one thing to talk about being selfless... but a whole other to actually live it out... And unless everyone does... no one can...
... And that is the problem...
... So yes... in a perfect world being selfless offers the greatest chance for a society to be strong... but it also means that each person could not choose to avoid pain or sacrifice and be able to pass it on to another... But even in a broken world a selfless person that keep themselves vulnerable truly shows strength... and the ones that build walls to protect themselves give away weakness...