Blades of Steel

I wanted to see how it felt like to skate again... So I rented some rollerblades and went around the seawall... $5 dollars an hour... minimum of 2 hours... ouch... ... ...
... Now, the only real motivation I have biking around the seawall is to see how many people I can pass on my way... more importantly... to see to it that I never get passed in return... year to date... perfect record... I've never been passed...
... but I realize... sadly... rollerblading today will probably see the end of my streak... -sniff-... but I won't go down without a fight... and in the course of the first 10 minutes it becomes clear that I might have been wrong... cause I'm sailing... I pass walkers... runners... ...walkers... not-so-good-bladers... picture takers... bikers-pulling-baby-carts... resters... working-out-bladers... sun-tanners... fairly-fast-bikers... just sailing I tell you... and each time I... 'ON YOUR LEFT!!' and add a little braking sound from the rubber stopper on my right skate just to grab their attention... they jump a bit... you get that little small elation of joy... and the person up ahead of you deflates... thinks... 'oh, I guess there's someone faster than me on this path'... moves over... and sees me take off around the next corner to be forgotten... VICTORY!... AND... and... just up ahead I happen to see a biker going fairly-fast speed and he's just about to pass some rollerbladers... and in my professional opinion... acting way too smugly about this pass for his own good... craziest thing is... I'm gaining on him... quickly... and to look at him... I mean c'mon... so smug, thinks he's going so fast... so here I am... defender of truth and justice... coming up on his tail... about to fly by... in the midst of his smugness... I have him... in my sights... just a few more seconds... he doesn't even know right now, but soon he will and it will be too late... and he's so excited about passing those bladers and thinks he's so great... and... instants now... the insanity... the horribly terrific irony... hahahahHAHA!... .... ... -break screech-... mid-yelll... 'ON YOUR L-'... when... -just then-... a bell... and a tire... and biker... flies by me on the right side... around the next corner... like a shot... gone... leaving me in the dust...

The Power of Celebrity

The power of celebrity is walking onto one of the most prestigious private courses in Canada without a reservation and get snuck on for a quick 18 before heading off to sound test... to have a backshop worker who has never really been a fan treat you way better than he should because of some popularity aura around them making you think they are really important people... to have everyone in the place know about it... gawkers... haters... coat-tail-riders... to try to score free tickets to the sold out Tragically Hip concert and to leave disappointed...

The Squigi's Are Back

It took a guy washing the back... side... and half the front window before I could yell out, 'sorry, I don't have any change'... JUST GIVE ME A 5 AND I'LL GIVE YOU 3 BACK... 'no, I don't have any money at all, just look'... GLARE... GLARE... GLARE... INTENTLY... (looking down I see my cell phone in the cup holder, same as him, and by the look in his eyes I honestly thought he was contemplating reaching in and grabbing it for half a second)... and then he stormed off, mad as I've seen anyone for a while... of course I didn't ask for anything... but he did it... so of course I owed it to him... just like those people against the war but got drafted to go to Vietnam anyways... rules are rules and we all live by them...

The Battle

There is a battle going on right... 'NO DON'T'... now... a civil war... in the streets... 'REALLY!?'... every day... 'REALLY!!'... everywhere... there are no bystanders... we are all involved... 'FOR CRYIN' OUT...'... it divides... embitters... destroys... and we can't... 'ARE YOU KIDDING ME!'... avoid... we can't... 'NO!!'... escape... we're right in the middle... 'GO'... all the time... 'GO!'... this very instant... 'GO ALREADY!'.. and we fight... wherever we can... whenever we can... but no matter how hard the battle will always be there... the enemy is always behind... ... 'STUPID STUPID'... we get hurt... oh sure, we play the victim really well... `HELLO?'... but sometimes... 'UH OH`... we're behind... we're the enemy... HAHA!... we play the game... `SUCKER`... and in this game there are no winners... 'SEE YA!'... only losers...
... and that terrible battle is... 'DON'T DO IT!'... traffic... those who cut people off and those who don't... those people that bend the rules... those people that use others good will to go as far ahead as they can in the dead end lane and mer-BUTT IN the very last second... and it's a big deal... DIDN'T EVEN SIGNAL... it's a measuring rod... ARE YOU TURNING OR NOT?... it sets the tone for an entire city... because it's that transition from home to work, work to home, that sets up how you'll be when you get there... COULD YOU DRIVE ANY SLOWER?... that interlude stress... carries over to work... TURN ALREADY... tags along at home... URGH PEDESTRIAN... breeds more stress... THERE'S ROOM`... builds on itself... `GO!!!`... builds the almighty power of Vigo... to rule us all... Ghostbusters II?... no?... NO!?
... Here is the story... Here is everyone's story... except for maybe Gandhi and Phil Jackson...
... Some swerving cell-phone-talk with an I HEART JT sticker on the side swoops across 3 lanes to stop in the far right lane at a red light seconds later... cuts off your small right turn... Some Abercrombie speeds up beside you the second you signal to change into his lane... The jerk... turning left turning lane up ahead means every suit late for work wants to merge over and get around, so you trail just behind their back tire in the middle lane; follow uncomfortably close to the car in your own lane; don't give any of the cars a chance to merge; and they have to stop and wait for the left turning car to get a yellow light and scurry on through the wall of traffic... see those guys stuck behind Mr Left Lane Turn... watch the line of middle lane cars sail on by... get angrier each car that passes... and carry it over... another jerk... to someone else... another suit... another text... and spread the fire around...
... But find that city... find that hero... that one person kind enough to let you in... patient enough to allow a merge... giving up the odd yellow light to red so the guy that just pulled doesn't have to wait another 10 minutes... but catching up at the next red light anyways... a man among men... a lady of ladies... the stress level and animosity in the place... zoom... way down... makes you want to spread around a little love...
... New York lost this battle a long time ago... Charleston in all seriousness plays host to accidents daily because of it (and coupled with the road design makes me wonder if it isn't a strategy for the city to make money)... Vancouver is surprisingly good... but with the pace that Canada seems to be copying everything in the US from banks, to health care, down to its immigration policy... and with 10,000 new cars on the road in 2 years... it's only a matter of time till we move past the catatonic threshold... Vigo will rule... and I'll be stuck punching my steering wheel...

Chicago

The Drake Hotel... Where... Queen Elizabeth took tea... Julia Roberts sat in an elevator... Richard Gere watched Julia Roberts sit in an elevator... Tom Cruise was all Risky Business with an Impossible Mission... Winston Churchill sat in bed... Marilyn Monroe carved her initials in the bar... Prince Charles... Princess Diana... visited 16 years apart...
... and yet...
... they still have crappy shower heads... no blow dryer... charge an extra 11 dollars for internet access... and don't give a second toffee on the pillow the second day of your stay...
... Things I would expect from a Holiday Inn Express experience...
... Sometimes rich people don't know what they're missing in their pursuit of acting rich...
... I've heard it's to be expected at a hotel largely used by business travellers because it's assumed you'll charge it to your company anyways...
... And PS...
... Whenever you hear that a city is famous for shopping... be prepared for it to be the exact same as every other city in the world that's 'famous for shopping'... Gucci... Prada... Armani... I think 4 different Luis Vuitton... Dolce and Gabana... Versace... a splattering of lesser knowns still selling at ridiculous... and dog treats in a cute little dog dish at the door just in case they brought along their little dog in their purse...

T dawtt

There are two kinds of history... the 2 years of an old friend’s life story in 3 minutes as we're both late for something else kind of history... short... sweet... walls firmly up... ‘nothing much’ jumps out innapropriately somewhere in the beginning of the first sentence... covered in a spotless sheer of decency and good manners... of big events... of buying houses... of worst movies... must reads... generalities... results...
... nothing too hard... make no waves... the truth really is too much effort... and way too scary... normality is the key... the things we all have in common are best... they make sense... the Blue Jays... the weather... Seinfeld re-runs... bullit points on the high school history text book of your lives... control... the ugly messiness now packaged all together to resemble something of a Disney script... where good guys win... bad guys lose... single events really can change history... where Franz Ferdinand really did start a war... George Bush really did cause the recession... freedom really is a reality... and slavery really has been abolished forever...
... where things just seemed to happen in life... irregardless of details... the downtime... the day-to-day living... the program you’ve created... the habits... sub-conscious reactions... values... bias... education... relationships... overlooked and largely skipped over... but in so doing you skip over the only true story... what you really did... where your life is actually heading...

... knowing full well it has nothing to do with the story, the easiest and most believable explanation is... we went to a Steak House... mini-golfing... karaoke... casino... and got in at 4... ... ... the shell... the surface... the saran wrap you peal off a steak... sole purpose of holding it together at a supermarket... but inedible... no meat... you do not go to Vegas and stay in your hotel room the whole night... you do not spend the day eating candy floss at Six Flags... The Mona Lisa has nothing to do with a day in Paris... and even the dullest shell contains at least some odd-shaped pearl if you can only move from... ‘well, if you only knew so-and-so’... to... ‘well, you DO know what so-and-so is like so’...


... Problem is I didn't know any of those guys... you wouldn't know any of those guys... the closest I can come is to have you remember something of your own story when you were wild and crazy and let loose on an unsuspecting Niagara Falls Thursday night...

Girl Talk

... At Harvard, sophomore year, (then) President Lawrence Summers joined a debate on the side of economics... opposite morality... a packed house... an entire school... the kingdom of liberaldom... against... against his environment policy of dumping pollution into 3rd world countries... against his many over-grandized public blunders... against Cornell West leaving to Princeton... hoping... against hope whatever he says is bad enough... will cause enough offense... make enough newspapers... that he too would go the way of Dr. West... but it didn't come... none of it... came to pass... instead, out came polished... out came a very well-spoken... and gracious... and tactful... and taller than expected... a man who stepped up at a very critical time in this his university career and nailed it...
... and after an hour of wondering through fields looking for greener grass the answer inevitably ended up at the fence... the boring plain old paint chipped white fence... all of us sat on it and had a great view of economists and moralists united together holding hands and singing kumbai-ya... dratted fence always turns up at the most inconvenient times... in the last 5 minutes of every romantic comedy... in the last 5 minutes of our bartering with a curbside salesman in Florence... in the last 5 minutes of this far too reasonable debate... the loopholes get found... they meet in the middle... and that's all it was...

... blah blah blah handshake...

... SURE, both of them are nothing more than systems... YA, they depend on the values put into them... time... family... money... COURSE, they are not evil unless the values are evil... garbage in, garbage... my computer science teacher (who happened to make art out of old computer monitors and he asked us if we had any old ones that we could give to him) would say... in application... economics is just a faster way to what you want... a value superhighway... morality detouring towards flower smelling and unending talk about feelings before settling in on a course of action... economics not evil... another form of morality... an analysis... scientific... only when abused does it hurt... economics don't kill people, people kill people...

... and I believed him... I left and thought that all was right with the world now that people like Larry Summers are looking out for us... are taller than expected and run around and making good speeches... I was fooled... fooled by life on the easy street... 'economics saves us'... fooled by life in the fast lane... 'economics makes it easier'... fooled because the superhighway to getting what you want runs right through and over all the things you don't know you need... and definitely don't know you want... and bulldozes over a few innocent bystanders as well on its way to getting built...

... Somewhere along the line some dehumanizing decision-making think-tank gets designed specifically and for the sole purpose of making money... money as the ONLY value... all else filters down from it anyways right?... so what if some people are expendable if they go against the bottom line...

... And then you compete for market share...

... Everyone crowded on this superhighway just means we're all going equally slow... so control it... limit it... regulate it... make it cater only to a small few...

... And suddenly...

... Every time the song 'happy birthday' is played... Warner Bros. gets paid money... they own the copyright... they... yes... own... yes... 'happy birthday'... who owns?... them... they do... and how?... do you blame them?... on Mickey's birthday it was his present... because it's their job... to take everything of value and figure out a way to make money from it... somebody, somewhere in that place... their job... and nothing else... is money... a lot of people actually... every person... maybe... for a lot of money... and most especially... don't care about the consequences... don't care about anything... money as an ultimate... brainstorm... every possible way to make it... if you can... get away with it... no worries... on the highest pedestal... the Benjamins... all of them... tell'em... like you told me... cash rules everything around me... dollar bills and nothing else... and everything else is expendable...

... The last revolution was fought against control, on the side of freedom... Landowners controlled the money system... they controlled the taxes... the land... they controlled the church... the actions... movement around the land... the words... the ideas... and as they hammered out their world in hopes for money and power the choice was to play along or fight back... and France did... America did... people did... constantly fight back... through the years... and continue to fight... against that control... slavery is easy... the price of liberty is eternal vigilance...

... And now that the Vatican has released it's grip on censorship a new form has taken it's shape... Copyrights... Patents... sure it's a valuable part of our economic system... the guarantee you gain credit for your work and ideas... but abused so terribly that they have become one of the greatest forms of control... Whereas a person once owned their works for 14 years it is now their lifetime plus 70 years... and even more for companies... And while people from Walt Disney stole all their great ideas from the past... you can't borrow from them in the future... and while all our favorite bands leeched their sound from the past... the band 'Girl Talk' would owe roughly $200,000 a song for creating something that none of the bands he stood upon could ever dream of making... and while 4 companies together might collectively own the knowledge to cure cancer, their patents prevent any form of unified study... this system of control is tightening to choke out creativity and innovation... we no longer stand on the shoulders of giants... the giant crushes us under it's feet... our ideas are stuck... people hoard up a pile of gold and sit on it's wealth... dragons sitting on a pile of gold... and while they protect and keep they begin to slow human advancement... they concentrate more and more of the wealth away to themselves... content in their power...
... On the opposite side is freedom... the value... the awe... inspired from any number of idealists looking for a cause... above nothing else... empty... sure... but powerful... like anything that big enough it means nothing until there are a thousand other words surrounding it... raw freedom... never... but control over everything we see?... just as never...
... Isn't there some sort of fence we could meet on here?... isn't that what rational people do?... talk and debate and kumbaya?... this time maybe not... when all of the power seems to be on the side of the control... why would they want to meet?...