What's is this TOGO thing anyways?

Not that this is necessarily true... in general... but if people were overweight in Italy I would not be surprised... even a little bit...
... First... meals here consist of a salad... a first plate of usually pasta... and then a second plate of usually meat and potatoes (or rice)... mix in dessert and beer as needed...
...BUT... more importantly...
... Nobody in Italy has ever heard of getting food to go... it's a completely foreign concept to them... You must eat your food... or maybe the world will end or something... it's unheard of that you do not finish everything on your plate... even the grizzle... if there is grizzle along with meat of choice for that day...
... If you don't... if you dare... oooOOOooo.... first off prepare to be heckled by older serving lady... who points at you making hand gestures meant to show that she thinks you are a skinny little weakling that can't even finish his 3 plates of food... you will also definitely attract the attention of the chef... who assumes that you think his food is bad because noone's not ever not eating everything in the entire history of Brunico I think possibly...
... Lastly... and pertaining to today... do not even think about asking to get your food to go... THERE IS NO TO GO IN ITALY... Italians that understand English will still only give you blank stares... your teammates will smirk and say they've never heard of anything so ridiculous as this idea of food to go... and old serving lady will still say... "What? You no like food... I get chef... you so skinny..."
... and Miracle?... We actually got our food to go after 20 or so minutes of explaining to serving lady, teammates, chef, and hotel manager what we wanted... and Danelle never wants to do it again... but I say that since everyone knows about it now that we've already done the hard part and onwards into the future the confusion is already settled...

... Hockey wise we just got our team rules put up on the wall of our locker room... notables are a 5 Euro fine for falling in warmups and 10 Euro fine for screwing up a drill in practice... our team could easily have made over 100 Euros the first day... but I don't think we even have a fine master... so more than likely all we'll have is everyone calling out fines when they happen... no repurcussion... no worries... it's better anyways I think because when a team is stickler on rules the locker room becomes no fun... and then life is more worried and hectic... and every time your phone rings your heart jumps because you think you might have missed something and the whole team is waiting on you... and you owe 100 Euros on top of it... So personally I hope it stays this way...

The Kronplatz

Sunday is fun day for the Bernawoot clan this winter since it's the only day off that I have... After our ritual sleep in cuddle time followed immediately by our ritual 1 Euro gelato downtown we decided to take the gondola up to the top of the ski hill overlooking Brunico... Supposedly the largest ski hill in all of Northern Italy... several kilometers of runs on the one mountain alone, and several other mountains surrounding it have lifts and runs as well... And every one of the lifts is a gondola instead of a chair lift... which is an epic bonus on warmth... and speed... and bonus on not falling over as you get off the lift as you try to stand up with only one foot strapped in... If you're like me and also a terrible snowboarder...
... supposedly it's a place where you can ski all the way to Cortina... an hour and a half away by car... if you really wanted to... and there is also an all day 'tour of the mountains' deal where you can go in a circle around the dolomites... and if you're fast (you only get one 15 minute break the whole day), and very lucky (don't fall), you can make it back to the mountain you started at the same day... I didn't see it on the map of ski runs but that's the story I was told...
... There's so many great things about being on top of a mountain, and hopefully pictures will come to this page to support that statement... Cafe's... a huge millenium bell... great view... Danelle has a blog with pictures that is surely to be far more entertaining than my attempts at witty banter... Check out the link at the... I want to say... top left?... maybe... Ready... Steady... Go!...

I Must Be German

... because in German...
... The two things I have the most trouble pronouncing... WH- and TH- ... don't even exist...
... The, This, That, There... are Die, Dis, Dat, Dort...
... What, Where, When, White... are Was, Wo, Wen, Weisse with the W- pronounced as a V-... so Vas, Vo, Ven, Veiss...
... And to think all the awkwardness of grade 11 english wouldn't have had to happen at all if only... (deep breath)... the breakaway German tribe that mixed with however many different cultures and languages they conquered and traded with whose eventual end product was modern English... had fought against Wh- and Th-... and just stayed strong on the V- and the D-...
... Like... they didn't have to keep everything about their culture in the eventual creation of English and Western Culture... Let's talk about possible trade-offs here for a second... maybe they could have given a little bit on style... like not having to always rock the overall shorts collared shirt hankerchief getup... or they could have let up on the Weiner schnitzel, dark beer combination for every meal including breakfast... you know... and incorporate the Italian tradition of a 3 hour siesta for lunch... Maybe put a speed limit on a road every once in a while... make a car that's bigger than a television set...
... but the V-... and the D-... this is where the real cultural battle should have been fought... and it's a shame...
... But the good news is that the battle isn't over... yet... there is still have one more chance... according to incredibly scary conspiracy theory movie I just watched in my bored spare time... to fight for V- and D-...
... Just after technology really makes the world flat and a great world-wide depression slash war on terror destroys the middle class and brings most every corporation and most all of the power into the hands of very few...
... and Just before the time of a one-world government when our rights are taken away and we're all microchipped and controlled (and have our chips turned off so we can't buy or sell if we try to resist)...
... Right in between... that little window of opportunity... just as the whole world starts trading freedom for security... because of some unknown threat that we don't know or understand but the news stations tell us is real and very scary...
... Right at the time when cultures and languages are fusing back together again... Right when the media is figuring out which language they will use in their efforts to streamline and control public perception... Right when fear of terror and wonder of entertainment makes the whole world spectators... when people are more concerned with videotaping a protest than taking part in it... Right then... when we still haven't caught Osama Bin Laden junior junior AND when the New York Yankees are playing the Tokyo Trappers in the World World Series...
... Right then...
... if you can pull yourself away from whatever virtual device takes you that much further out of reality... and if you can work up the courage to leave your cozy little fenced in bubble... Go talk to Ted Turner Junior Junior... Let him know what's up... Push for... no... DEMAND the V- and D- to be brought back into the Universal language... because of easiness... Do it for the future... for the sake of future people like me...
... It very well might earn you 5 years of glorious conversation unsullied by the stutter...

Walk Softly and Carry a Big Stick

If this isn't a Teddy Roosevelt quote then my entire Junior year of college was a waste... (look it up on Wikiwhatever just to make sure if you want)... Either way... I'm going to do what I as taught in college and pretend... pretend like this is the quote and that I'm saying something important... pretend that I know what I'm talking about... pretend the truth by saying something that sounds right so won't need to question it... this will hopefully prepare me to one day become a world leader...
... So... Teddy's big stick...
... Thing is... it's true... if you carry a big enough stick... like a walking stick... you actually do walk softer... and walking, in general, is easier... I'm not a mathamewhatever or anything... but I felt like I was carrying half the weight going uphill today after finding the stick... and talk about saving your knees on the way down... The Europeans on the hike all had fancy ski poles in each hand for the hike... which I consider a veteran move...
... The hike today brought us to these amazing hoodoos carved out by a river in the mountains... and like anything involving cliffs... not one picture did justice to how cool these things were... how big the hoodoos actually were... or how shear the drop-off was beside the path... Explain this to me someone... Cause I'm sick of trying to describe how steep, say, the double black diamond was.. then show them a picture.. and it looks nothing more than a small incline... and then I look like a wuss...
... And speaking of skiing...
... Snow happened upon the ski hill a few days ago but was quickly melted... however, the gondola is now up and running... which I'm really excited about because it means we're that much closer to ski season... and me having to wait and watch all of it until the end of my season before I get to go...

Sunday Hike

Today we decide to follow river beside our rink... using the path behind our rink... to see where it led...
... I'm definitely smarter than my 14 year old self because we remembered to pack a lunch... Unfortunately I'm still a lot dumber than my 30 year old self because we forgot to pack water bottles... and I get nosebleeds when I'm dehydrated...
... The trail is actually really cool. There's two 200 meter tunnels through the mountain, a waterfall, and instead of grass under the trees there's moss, which, when you see it, has a lot more of an enchanted forest feel about it than grass ever could...
... About 4 1/2 kms into the hike... and Danelle's like... last time I hiked up here I thought that church looked familiar... and I was like... it does look familiar... and that house looks familiar... and Sarah's like... look at the pretty flowers... but then Danelle's like... I think it's Percha... and I'm like... I think it is Percha... and Sarah's like... this grass is smushy... ... ... and lo and behold we see a sign saying Percha... imagine that... unknowingly to me, and all part of Danelle's master plan of surprise... we found the path between Brunico and Percha... which in total is 5 kms... and starts from the path behind the rink... if I had a bike would be downhill the whole way and it'd probably be faster than the spiderweb of roads I have to take to drive there...

And I Thought I'd Seen It All

Life had been hectic here with 2 practices a day... getting our house in order... getting phone and internet hooked up... finding a connector for our Wii... beating every Wii game we have... ... ...
...This week things finally have sorted themselves out a little bit and we sort of have a routine going... kinda... hockey in the morning (Danelle takes our coaches dog for a walk)... lunch downtown... gelato (which is actually pronounced GELATO)... go for a walk... back home to rest... make supper together... back to the rink for more hockey (Danelle watches the rock network)... sleep...
... But we do have a huge problem... we don't have internet at our aparment, and fo me this is terrible because I've only ever done school work at home... it's so hard to break free of that and write emails somewhere else... So people... I don't hate you... as far as you know... it's just I'm lazy...
... So far we've played 2 games and lost both... Our second game was against the second place team last year in the Austrian elite league and they were really good. Todd Ellick was on the team and was the center that I played against all game. It was him and 4 other AHL guys. And the great thing is that we actually did fairly well against them. I think we surprised them at the start and got up 1-0, then they came back and got 3 pp goals in a row. Then we came back with a PP goal of our own. Then I got a breakaway and the guy hooked me so hard that I almost fell over and there wasn't even a penalty... Let alone a penalty shot... If I scored there it would have been tied 3-3...
... Things went bad from there and we ended up losing 5-2 I think. One of the goals against was my fault. But not bad overall, I got 2 assist in the game so that was good too...

THEN CRAZINESS

...By the end of the game the ice was so foggy that literally if you were standing on the blue line you could just barely make out the boards behind the net... The goalies couldn't even see the puck anymore...

... One guy on there team took a shot from the far blue and Kelly didn't even move, it just hit him. He said he didn't see it at all...

... We actually had to stop the game to get the fog in control... they made everyone skate around the ice in a circle to make a small tornado to get the air moving and blow the fog away. I've never seen anything like it in my life...

...As far as my schedule goes, I hear we have a week off in November, and then another week off early december because the Italian national team has games over New Years that are really important so they're having some camps. I also heard that around Christmas is actually very hectic for games because the teams want to capitalize on the tourist season to bring in fans...

Lost in Translation

It's heat, humidity, and rainy afternoons around here right now... All of this means that the ice fogs over so much that we have to run a massive fan to clear it out... it also means that it fogs up our visors to no end on the ice...
... And something as small as this can set off one of many cultural differences...
... Setting... our non-English speaking trainer is holding the towell on the bench we use to wipe off the visors... my visor is foggy...
... Action... I use the universal sign to ask for a towell... fake wiping off your visor... then pointing at the towell that he's holding...
... Rising action... Unfortunately this same sign (moving an open palm back and forth across your face) in translation is pretty much F-finger... (the worst the F-finger gets here is calling someone crazy... this so happens to be the way you call someone crazy)... (similar to giving someone the thumbs up sign in the Middle-East)... (Don't ever do it!)
... Climax... he looks at me really strange... then mad... so I just grab the towell and hold it out showing him that it's what I wanted...
... Conclusion... I skate away before he can squirt a water bottle at me or something...