This is how friendship happens... is you find out you don't have to be afraid of them anymore... they cheer for the same team as you... or they cheer for any team... or they simply like sports... or they don't hate sports... or they put up with sports... or... really... have nothing to do with sports... but have something... anything... the same as you... ... ... is how it starts...
It's worship... like, pagan worship... these interests we share... the ability to lose yourself in a crowd... completely safe... walls down... fists up... the team scores... explode... the stadium... as one... one voice... cries together... this is how community happens... ... ... and could care less what sports being played... or band is singing... or sale is happening... just to be carried away with the crowd...
... I've been in a lot of crowds... and a lot of stadiums... Won championships in double overtime... I've seen Fenway when the Sox won... Watched bands playing to sold out concerts... and it's a rush... all the best kinds of carried away...
... and I know the flip side of the group... the fear that comes with a crowd... the fear of the hostile... the way they turn on you... the way everyone gets tested... and the eye of the group falls on you... ... ... or... ... ... the safety you feel when it's someone else the crowd attacks... the way you would do anything to keep it someone else... the safety they must have felt as fans in the Coliseum... the safety we feel behind the glass...
... and it's this safety... unity... nothing ever compares to the collapsing of walls, the safety, the ease of being carried away, even as a stranger, like worship...
... And then there's real worship... I think it might be the biggest loss of anyone that has not gone to church... is not experiencing what it's like to worship... really free...
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Thoughts from an ex-hockey player law school student
In Hindsight...
I've probably second guessed almost everything I said or did this past weekend in Calgary.
It's not necessarily regret... or even that I think it went all that bad. It's just... all they have to go on is one conversation... that's their impression... and that's it. Wham, bam, thank you ma'am...
Cause when you have that many students to pick from, I assume, you look for any excuse to write somebody off... It's like Seinfeld getting rid of girlfriends... low talker, doesn't look good in the dark, man hands, didn't taste his dessert, ate her peas one at a time, liked a commercial he hated... ... ... thought, that she thought, that he had picked his nose...
... That's the kind of thing we're dealing with here...
Here's an example of a first impression.... I'm on the bus to school, and this elderly guy is having all this trouble getting on, finding a seat, and we're all helping him out. Eventually he asks someone to push the button to stop the bus. Bus doesn't stop. A few people mumble that the driver missed her stop. A few people say that the driver is off. One guy yells at the driver "could you please stop"...
... as a reply to the ones complaining... and directed at everyone... in defense of the driver (that I know this happens almost every day to... that doesn't realize it's an elderly man... who is just doing her job... and that can't really say anything and drive...) I say "the bus doesn't stop at that stop"...
... And now I'm the jerk that won't make the exception for this elderly man... ... ... and, oh great, I just made eye contact with the guy that yelled for the bus to stop... and he's a player from the Rosetown senior team...
I've probably second guessed almost everything I said or did this past weekend in Calgary.
It's not necessarily regret... or even that I think it went all that bad. It's just... all they have to go on is one conversation... that's their impression... and that's it. Wham, bam, thank you ma'am...
Cause when you have that many students to pick from, I assume, you look for any excuse to write somebody off... It's like Seinfeld getting rid of girlfriends... low talker, doesn't look good in the dark, man hands, didn't taste his dessert, ate her peas one at a time, liked a commercial he hated... ... ... thought, that she thought, that he had picked his nose...
... That's the kind of thing we're dealing with here...
Here's an example of a first impression.... I'm on the bus to school, and this elderly guy is having all this trouble getting on, finding a seat, and we're all helping him out. Eventually he asks someone to push the button to stop the bus. Bus doesn't stop. A few people mumble that the driver missed her stop. A few people say that the driver is off. One guy yells at the driver "could you please stop"...
... as a reply to the ones complaining... and directed at everyone... in defense of the driver (that I know this happens almost every day to... that doesn't realize it's an elderly man... who is just doing her job... and that can't really say anything and drive...) I say "the bus doesn't stop at that stop"...
... And now I'm the jerk that won't make the exception for this elderly man... ... ... and, oh great, I just made eye contact with the guy that yelled for the bus to stop... and he's a player from the Rosetown senior team...
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Thoughts from an ex-hockey player law school student
Cro Magnon...
There are only so many ways you can try to explain something before you begin to wonder whether or not you're insane. Such as... for example... when I tried to get a guy to unplug the woofer from his stereo because it was shaking the walls of our apartment.
"BUT I've already turned the volume down as low as it can go...!"
"No, see, what I'm saying is, it's not about the volume, you can actually turn the volume up! Just unplug the woofer"
"LOOK, the bass is turned all the way to zero...!"
"Maybe, but here, feel the woofer, it's shaking the ground, at least put it on a pillow or a box or something"
"I'll GIVE you the controller, you can try to turn the volume lower..."
"Ummmm... okay, will your system still work if you unplug the woofer?"
"GO ahead and call the cops... You're being unreasonable... I should be allowed to listen to music in my own house... I'm a firefighter and this is my schedule..."
"Well... ?... ?... ?... ... !... ... I'm a lawyer... and this is nuisance!"
"okay LEAVE"...
(lol)
There are only so many ways you can try to explain something before you begin to wonder whether or not you're insane. Such as... for example... when I tried to get a guy to unplug the woofer from his stereo because it was shaking the walls of our apartment.
"BUT I've already turned the volume down as low as it can go...!"
"No, see, what I'm saying is, it's not about the volume, you can actually turn the volume up! Just unplug the woofer"
"LOOK, the bass is turned all the way to zero...!"
"Maybe, but here, feel the woofer, it's shaking the ground, at least put it on a pillow or a box or something"
"I'll GIVE you the controller, you can try to turn the volume lower..."
"Ummmm... okay, will your system still work if you unplug the woofer?"
"GO ahead and call the cops... You're being unreasonable... I should be allowed to listen to music in my own house... I'm a firefighter and this is my schedule..."
"Well... ?... ?... ?... ... !... ... I'm a lawyer... and this is nuisance!"
"okay LEAVE"...
(lol)
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Thoughts from an ex-hockey player law school student
The other side of the law is a whole lot scarier than the one I like to live.
The side where the rubber hits the road and things get real. Where you go on a class field trip to the Provincial court house and the double homicide over the weekend is in pre-trial processes in courtroom 1 at 2 o'clock. Where the guy is literally 10 steps from you. And the girl shakes her head and looks down while the charges are read out against her.
The side that has a guy getting handcuffed in front of your face, and sent to jail for 6 months with a family of 3 dependent on him as sole provider. But did I mention it's a domestic violence charge. And the side where a flashy lawyer in an expensive suit hates calling statutory protections mere 'technicalities' in a DUI dangerous driving offense.
The reality to us civilians is that the only difference between that huge guy looking down at the floor with guilt and the same guy staring you down at a bar ready to punch your teeth in are the cops lining the halls. The power is real.
But surreal at the same time as all us students laugh and joke, carefree on a field trip, while people's lives are touched to the core all around. While life happens.
The side where the rubber hits the road and things get real. Where you go on a class field trip to the Provincial court house and the double homicide over the weekend is in pre-trial processes in courtroom 1 at 2 o'clock. Where the guy is literally 10 steps from you. And the girl shakes her head and looks down while the charges are read out against her.
The side that has a guy getting handcuffed in front of your face, and sent to jail for 6 months with a family of 3 dependent on him as sole provider. But did I mention it's a domestic violence charge. And the side where a flashy lawyer in an expensive suit hates calling statutory protections mere 'technicalities' in a DUI dangerous driving offense.
The reality to us civilians is that the only difference between that huge guy looking down at the floor with guilt and the same guy staring you down at a bar ready to punch your teeth in are the cops lining the halls. The power is real.
But surreal at the same time as all us students laugh and joke, carefree on a field trip, while people's lives are touched to the core all around. While life happens.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Thoughts from an ex-hockey player law school student
I submitted an article into the law school's local paper...
These are all the reasons why it may not be received very well...
1. I joined a discussion about the curve without bothering to figure out what the discussion was
2. I pretended to be a cocky disrespectful first-year because I thought it was an overdone metaphor and thus artistically funny, but there is a very large chance that people won't catch the sarcasm
3. I pretended to be conservative in a place run by liberals
4. I am a conservative in a place run by liberals
These are all the reasons why it may not be received very well...
1. I joined a discussion about the curve without bothering to figure out what the discussion was
2. I pretended to be a cocky disrespectful first-year because I thought it was an overdone metaphor and thus artistically funny, but there is a very large chance that people won't catch the sarcasm
3. I pretended to be conservative in a place run by liberals
4. I am a conservative in a place run by liberals
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Thoughts from an ex-hockey player law school student
People are really sure of themselves in law school...
I have had, conclusively proven to me, that everything is predetermined... inductively... through the lens of science... that there is nothing outside of cause and effect... weird considering he's studying law where people are held accountable for their actions... (digression)... anyways... dude said... one thing hits another, the other moves, hits something else... one atom hits another... particles... make chemicals... make chemical reactions... make brainwaves... make love... and hate... we... .... .... "choose"... only as far as those atoms bouncing around inside our head let us... maybe the unenlightened few think we have a choice... but it's delusion... it's really just action, reaction, action, reaction.... back from one starting action... I wonder what the new theory is about that...
... It's never good to venture out on a limb too far... but I kinda thing that there's a little more to it... because we don't just "choose"... we "know" we can choose... and we "know" that we "know" that we "know", ad infinite, that we can "choose"... Sure a computer can mimic us in a way, and maybe analyze it's own program... become a better chess program or something... but does it "know" that it can analyze it's own program... That element of self-awareness is tricky... and particles bouncing around just don't do it for me... maybe 50 years from now it won't be all that tricky, but right now I'm highly skeptical of someone that has it all figured out...
I have had, conclusively proven to me, that everything is predetermined... inductively... through the lens of science... that there is nothing outside of cause and effect... weird considering he's studying law where people are held accountable for their actions... (digression)... anyways... dude said... one thing hits another, the other moves, hits something else... one atom hits another... particles... make chemicals... make chemical reactions... make brainwaves... make love... and hate... we... .... .... "choose"... only as far as those atoms bouncing around inside our head let us... maybe the unenlightened few think we have a choice... but it's delusion... it's really just action, reaction, action, reaction.... back from one starting action... I wonder what the new theory is about that...
... It's never good to venture out on a limb too far... but I kinda thing that there's a little more to it... because we don't just "choose"... we "know" we can choose... and we "know" that we "know" that we "know", ad infinite, that we can "choose"... Sure a computer can mimic us in a way, and maybe analyze it's own program... become a better chess program or something... but does it "know" that it can analyze it's own program... That element of self-awareness is tricky... and particles bouncing around just don't do it for me... maybe 50 years from now it won't be all that tricky, but right now I'm highly skeptical of someone that has it all figured out...
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Thoughts From an ex-hockey player slash law school student: Hockey Talk
How in the world could hockey ever be THAT important!?
Maybe cause I've lived it... or seen it... or seen enough of it... to know I really don't care that I haven't lived it.
The lifestyle's nothing to be jealous of... while you're at home enjoying Christmas with the family they're the ones in Buffalo getting set to go on the ice.
While you're building a career for a lifetime, they're cut short at 35 with no other skill in the world to fall back on...
The work's nothing to get excited about either... getting shipped all over in trades... no control over your life... under the microscope...
You ask me after a big win, I'll tell you there isn't a better feeling in the world... You ask me walking down the street, or into a bar... and you get away with murder because everyone thinks you're so special... it's cool that normal rules don't seem to apply to you... You ask me in the middle of the game, you'll never be more in the moment in your life (because of fear, you deal with fear every game, and sometimes you hate it... but it makes you feel alive)... And you ask me what it's like to have a band of guys become a family every year... it's something awesome...
... It's just... can you imagine what THAT kind of work... and THAT kind of lifestyle does to a person? It's your job not to grow up. To act like you never got past grade 4 on the playground. You want to talk about consequences take a look at the lives of some of the most successful athletes out there.
You really have to be something special to make something out of your life once the game's over.
I'd be a bigger fan a guy for getting back into life and doing something with it than anything he ever did as a pro. I'd even be a bigger fan of Lance Armstrong if I didn't read his book and think he was such a *&^8.
Maybe cause I've lived it... or seen it... or seen enough of it... to know I really don't care that I haven't lived it.
The lifestyle's nothing to be jealous of... while you're at home enjoying Christmas with the family they're the ones in Buffalo getting set to go on the ice.
While you're building a career for a lifetime, they're cut short at 35 with no other skill in the world to fall back on...
The work's nothing to get excited about either... getting shipped all over in trades... no control over your life... under the microscope...
You ask me after a big win, I'll tell you there isn't a better feeling in the world... You ask me walking down the street, or into a bar... and you get away with murder because everyone thinks you're so special... it's cool that normal rules don't seem to apply to you... You ask me in the middle of the game, you'll never be more in the moment in your life (because of fear, you deal with fear every game, and sometimes you hate it... but it makes you feel alive)... And you ask me what it's like to have a band of guys become a family every year... it's something awesome...
... It's just... can you imagine what THAT kind of work... and THAT kind of lifestyle does to a person? It's your job not to grow up. To act like you never got past grade 4 on the playground. You want to talk about consequences take a look at the lives of some of the most successful athletes out there.
You really have to be something special to make something out of your life once the game's over.
I'd be a bigger fan a guy for getting back into life and doing something with it than anything he ever did as a pro. I'd even be a bigger fan of Lance Armstrong if I didn't read his book and think he was such a *&^8.
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