People are really sure of themselves in law school...
I have had, conclusively proven to me, that everything is predetermined... inductively... through the lens of science... that there is nothing outside of cause and effect... weird considering he's studying law where people are held accountable for their actions... (digression)... anyways... dude said... one thing hits another, the other moves, hits something else... one atom hits another... particles... make chemicals... make chemical reactions... make brainwaves... make love... and hate... we... .... .... "choose"... only as far as those atoms bouncing around inside our head let us... maybe the unenlightened few think we have a choice... but it's delusion... it's really just action, reaction, action, reaction.... back from one starting action... I wonder what the new theory is about that...
... It's never good to venture out on a limb too far... but I kinda thing that there's a little more to it... because we don't just "choose"... we "know" we can choose... and we "know" that we "know" that we "know", ad infinite, that we can "choose"... Sure a computer can mimic us in a way, and maybe analyze it's own program... become a better chess program or something... but does it "know" that it can analyze it's own program... That element of self-awareness is tricky... and particles bouncing around just don't do it for me... maybe 50 years from now it won't be all that tricky, but right now I'm highly skeptical of someone that has it all figured out...
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Thoughts From an ex-hockey player slash law school student: Hockey Talk
How in the world could hockey ever be THAT important!?
Maybe cause I've lived it... or seen it... or seen enough of it... to know I really don't care that I haven't lived it.
The lifestyle's nothing to be jealous of... while you're at home enjoying Christmas with the family they're the ones in Buffalo getting set to go on the ice.
While you're building a career for a lifetime, they're cut short at 35 with no other skill in the world to fall back on...
The work's nothing to get excited about either... getting shipped all over in trades... no control over your life... under the microscope...
You ask me after a big win, I'll tell you there isn't a better feeling in the world... You ask me walking down the street, or into a bar... and you get away with murder because everyone thinks you're so special... it's cool that normal rules don't seem to apply to you... You ask me in the middle of the game, you'll never be more in the moment in your life (because of fear, you deal with fear every game, and sometimes you hate it... but it makes you feel alive)... And you ask me what it's like to have a band of guys become a family every year... it's something awesome...
... It's just... can you imagine what THAT kind of work... and THAT kind of lifestyle does to a person? It's your job not to grow up. To act like you never got past grade 4 on the playground. You want to talk about consequences take a look at the lives of some of the most successful athletes out there.
You really have to be something special to make something out of your life once the game's over.
I'd be a bigger fan a guy for getting back into life and doing something with it than anything he ever did as a pro. I'd even be a bigger fan of Lance Armstrong if I didn't read his book and think he was such a *&^8.
Maybe cause I've lived it... or seen it... or seen enough of it... to know I really don't care that I haven't lived it.
The lifestyle's nothing to be jealous of... while you're at home enjoying Christmas with the family they're the ones in Buffalo getting set to go on the ice.
While you're building a career for a lifetime, they're cut short at 35 with no other skill in the world to fall back on...
The work's nothing to get excited about either... getting shipped all over in trades... no control over your life... under the microscope...
You ask me after a big win, I'll tell you there isn't a better feeling in the world... You ask me walking down the street, or into a bar... and you get away with murder because everyone thinks you're so special... it's cool that normal rules don't seem to apply to you... You ask me in the middle of the game, you'll never be more in the moment in your life (because of fear, you deal with fear every game, and sometimes you hate it... but it makes you feel alive)... And you ask me what it's like to have a band of guys become a family every year... it's something awesome...
... It's just... can you imagine what THAT kind of work... and THAT kind of lifestyle does to a person? It's your job not to grow up. To act like you never got past grade 4 on the playground. You want to talk about consequences take a look at the lives of some of the most successful athletes out there.
You really have to be something special to make something out of your life once the game's over.
I'd be a bigger fan a guy for getting back into life and doing something with it than anything he ever did as a pro. I'd even be a bigger fan of Lance Armstrong if I didn't read his book and think he was such a *&^8.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Thoughts from an ex-hockey player law school student
A paradox... I work 6 times the hours and am free...
... free...
... because an athlete is a slave... a slave to their own body, a slave to the opponent, even a slave to their future opponent. The guy they won't even know existed for 2 more years.
... It's not the dominant thought mind you... not all the time... not when you're asleep... but ya, in the course of a day that nagging little voice in your head has you constantly thinking about your job... you have to eat... have to work out... have to stay ahead of the other guy... But instead of work you can leave on a desk... if you're lucky... and not take it home... (I doubt a dentist worries about that cavity you had the second they see you out the door)... you never leave your own body...
... You are not free, even with all the free time in the world...
... And when I say free, I realize the fairytale ends when I start seeing real life as REAL LIFE. Not just a vacation from hockey. When I end up becoming a slave on Sundays thinking about Monday... worrying about paperwork instead of stickwork... but a slave just the same...
... The guys that succeed in hockey are the ones that learn to accept what comes with hockey... they live with the unknown... they live with the pain... and little aches... and they love every minute of it and all the glory of the night...
... I only know from what I've seen... but from what I've seen... the guys that succeed in business are the ones that accept there's always work to do... It's a part of life... You leave with work still to be done... You come back with even more work on top of it... and you love every minute of it and all the glory of the day...
... free...
... because an athlete is a slave... a slave to their own body, a slave to the opponent, even a slave to their future opponent. The guy they won't even know existed for 2 more years.
... It's not the dominant thought mind you... not all the time... not when you're asleep... but ya, in the course of a day that nagging little voice in your head has you constantly thinking about your job... you have to eat... have to work out... have to stay ahead of the other guy... But instead of work you can leave on a desk... if you're lucky... and not take it home... (I doubt a dentist worries about that cavity you had the second they see you out the door)... you never leave your own body...
... You are not free, even with all the free time in the world...
... And when I say free, I realize the fairytale ends when I start seeing real life as REAL LIFE. Not just a vacation from hockey. When I end up becoming a slave on Sundays thinking about Monday... worrying about paperwork instead of stickwork... but a slave just the same...
... The guys that succeed in hockey are the ones that learn to accept what comes with hockey... they live with the unknown... they live with the pain... and little aches... and they love every minute of it and all the glory of the night...
... I only know from what I've seen... but from what I've seen... the guys that succeed in business are the ones that accept there's always work to do... It's a part of life... You leave with work still to be done... You come back with even more work on top of it... and you love every minute of it and all the glory of the day...
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Hedonism
That each individual seeks their own greatest happiness... maybe... that each individual KNOWS their own greatest happiness... maybe not... that they get so caught up in their immediate happiness, like a child and candy, that they fail to see the bigger picture... look at the size of their fannies...
Utilitarianism
That society seeks to create the most happiness for the greatest amount of people... maybe... that they make harmful actions to others or society painful so they are not pursued... definitely... that in zealous pursuit of immediate happiness society fails to see the bigger picture... look at the size of Fanny and Freddie Mac...
Utilitarianism
That society seeks to create the most happiness for the greatest amount of people... maybe... that they make harmful actions to others or society painful so they are not pursued... definitely... that in zealous pursuit of immediate happiness society fails to see the bigger picture... look at the size of Fanny and Freddie Mac...
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Wedding Weekend
The other family saw us as family... something truly amazing... but... ... something you can hardly understand... when the other family's FRIENDS saw us as family...
And it's one thing when you are given one night of celebration for something so awesome as a wedding... but something along the lines of 4 days... with each day something unique... special... memorable... each bringing its own special flavor to the week... I wouldn't bring it justice... to imagine to compare it to something so comparably mundane as a multi-course meal of the most favorite dishes of your life... dishes you never knew even existed until you tried them... and once tried... craved them ever after... A really expensive restaurant that somehow fit all of the best of your life inside... except the few that couldn't make it and had to find room in your heart... Pleasantly you find just enough time to talk with each... That each conversation was like the smoothest red wine... That each smile, the coolest white... And the laughter...
We drank on it for days straight... from the brim to the dregs... And 2 days later I'm still drunk on this thing called love...
And it's one thing when you are given one night of celebration for something so awesome as a wedding... but something along the lines of 4 days... with each day something unique... special... memorable... each bringing its own special flavor to the week... I wouldn't bring it justice... to imagine to compare it to something so comparably mundane as a multi-course meal of the most favorite dishes of your life... dishes you never knew even existed until you tried them... and once tried... craved them ever after... A really expensive restaurant that somehow fit all of the best of your life inside... except the few that couldn't make it and had to find room in your heart... Pleasantly you find just enough time to talk with each... That each conversation was like the smoothest red wine... That each smile, the coolest white... And the laughter...
We drank on it for days straight... from the brim to the dregs... And 2 days later I'm still drunk on this thing called love...
Sunday, June 13, 2010
It's a Small WOrld After All
A nerd circle is something you did in high school, or before, depending at what point of maturity you were at when you thought that picking on girls was a good way of getting them to like you...
A nerd circle is something you most definitely forfeit association with once you pass this stage...
But a nerd circle is still funny, in an extreme childish way, and thus, any time you are with guys, and only the guys, and definitely not around any girls...
And so in the most random encounter I met an extremely great girl I knew 10 years ago... friends with many of my old friends... MC at one of their weddings... happened to be on the wrong end of a few nerd circles... gracious enough to forgive my naivite...
Reminded me of something you always know, but sometimes forget... that a friend is a friend no matter what the distance or how long the time...
A nerd circle is something you most definitely forfeit association with once you pass this stage...
But a nerd circle is still funny, in an extreme childish way, and thus, any time you are with guys, and only the guys, and definitely not around any girls...
And so in the most random encounter I met an extremely great girl I knew 10 years ago... friends with many of my old friends... MC at one of their weddings... happened to be on the wrong end of a few nerd circles... gracious enough to forgive my naivite...
Reminded me of something you always know, but sometimes forget... that a friend is a friend no matter what the distance or how long the time...
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Two Roads Diverged in a yellow w-
Dear Robert, if only you were alive today...
... Roads come by the thousand these days...
... and roads on top of roads...
... overpasses we like to call'em.
So please, enough of this one or the other crap...
because More than one of these choices is less travelled
...and each choice makes all the difference...
and leaves the ache of losing the freedom to choose
and leaves the ache of losing the freedom to choose
... to miss out on life and experience
you can never go back...
you can never go back...
So still I stay, and still I dream.
Each day the choices are fewer, each year the abilities lesser,
... but choice still remains,
And as I wait; lives have come and gone,
... endless possibilities are themselves ended
Past by.
And such as it is, while dreaming,
... the rest are overlooked,
and so now there is no choice
... for rest is all I seek
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